Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Who says punk is immature!!!!!!!!!
Now, the way this Queen's Jubilee malarkey was covered in the mass media, you'd think everyone in the entire British Isles was going "Cor blimey guv, God bless our Queen!!!!!" and had a Union Jack painted on their face!!!!!!!!! Well, I can tell you that's a lot of bunkum and tummyrot!!!!!!! It was just reported like that and then shown across the UK on big telly screens in public squares to an audience of about 4 tourists!!!!!! The main action was down in London where there was a truly awful pop concert (Which might have been more bearable if Will Young sung his current gramophone recording, "Light My Fire"!!!!) a really snazzy firework display with a few neat tricks borrowed from our continental friends, and a big parade thingy, which apparently drew a crowd of 1 million!!!! Mind you, that could have been the amount of people taking part in the parade!!!!!
Anyway, it was a bit noticeably quieter up my end, in much the way that a Marcel Marceau performance could be said to be noticeably quieter than an exploding Doodlebug!!!!! So, in this end of civilisation, I can imagine this next innovation in popular music culture might catch on- Punk Lullabies For Kids!!!!
Welcome to the New York Times, Mr p7d8n1BMMuIIC!!!!
When doing some Ll3l3kl35t5t3t33 (Funny way hackers, spell "elite", isn't it?!?!? Maybe they should bring out a "Spelling For Dummies" book like that jolly nice "Sex For Dummies" book not so long ago!!!!!! Mind you, not that I needed read it of course- in fact, you could say I wrote the book on the subject!!!!! Except that it's not technically true!!!! In fact, somebody else wrote the book!!!!) Erm, anyway!!!!!!! Where was I?!?!??! When you're doing some Ll3l3kl35t5t3t33 surphing on tha infos superpipeway to tha megamighty NetWeb on your w3browsey-wowsey, haven't you ever thought: "Hey!!!! it would be a really cool idea if I assumed the identity of "mqD36TbEWsWaseD@FP8ofB.com"!??!?!?!" I know I have!!!!! Especially if one wishes to read stuffs on tha New York Times w3sitey, where you would need to register and log in to see anything, even if New York was hit by meteorite!!!!!!!! So congratulations ("and tribulations", or however that crap Cliff Richard song goes!!!!) go to this enterprising chappie for doing an NYT Random Login Generator!!!!!!! Now all we need is a CGI proggy to rewrite the articles, so that they're actually worth logging on for!!!!!!!!!
Industry middlemen are against cutting out industry middlemen!!!!!!
Here's US Record Industry head honcho Hilary Rosen on a plan by KaZzZAzZAAa or whatever they're called, and various hip band people (No Doubt!!!!! By which I of course mean the band No Doubt!!!! Although there's probably very little doubt that other hip bands might like the idea!!!!) to cut out the industry and pay artists directly for music downloads:
the most disingenuous thing I've ever heard. It's ridiculous
So, obviously no personal interest there, eh!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
Linkoid!!!
"The last thing you want is for your television to find out you have haemorrhoids", says this bloke!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Thursday, April 04, 2002
Monday, March 25, 2002
Saturday, March 23, 2002
Friday, March 22, 2002
Linkoid!!!
Ali G is the new "Al Johnson"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Which to be honest, is probably more more amusing than his current cinematic excursion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 14, 2002
Use an inkjet printer- and go to jail!!!!!!
By Jove!!!!!!! I knew a lot of US peeps are understandably still jumpy after all this terrible business with terrorists and so on, but this is taking caution a tad far!!!!!! Some zero-budget filmaker printed out a whole load of fake money to be used as props in his movie- then he gets arrested for forgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wot next- someone on a desert island waving a white flag to attract attention, and then getting arrested by tha Fuzz because it's not got the stars and stripes on it?!?!??!
Linkoid!!!
Yay!!!! It's the Eurovision Song Content again!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be voting "Ping Pang-a-Pong" by Beligum's Hardrock Bert & His Hot Poogy Express!!!!! (Wot do you mean they didn't win the Beligan finals!??!?! Oh, fiddlesticks!!!!!!!!!)
Holidays in Glasgow: 'dogshit'!!!!!!!!!!!!
If wading through beer cans, curry packs, cigarette packets and dogshit is what turns you on, then Glasgow's your dream place for a holiday.
Crikey!!!! And that's from the Rev. Ron Ferguson, who is, like, a bishop!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
Linkoid!!!
Do you think if I say 'Senior Citizen is bloody brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!' enough, it'll get on Google?!??!?!
Linkoid!!!
Shock horror!!!!!!!!! Televisual advertisiments are a bit deafening on the old earhole!!!!!!!!
Linkoid!!!
When all those bowler hat types say to hackers: "Why don't you use your skills for a proper job!??!?!?!??!", I don't think they meant this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 25, 2002
"Full Confidence" Alert!!!!!
Hey!!!! Here's a breaking news story!!!!! UK Transport Minister Stephen Byers (Wot a great name for a Cash 'n' Carry!!!!!!) has been in a bit a of a row with some people that might have resigned from his office, or he might have sacked!!!!!!! We don't know which!!!!!!!! And top of that he's been in a bit of a spot over problems with the railways, roads, the airports, and, well, basically everything he touches, and some peeps want King Blair to go el-choppo on him!!!!!!!! (By which I of course mean sack him, not... Er, actually I don't really think anyone suspected otherwise!!!!!!!!!! Unless they're really mad!!!!!! Or have similar thoughts about Anne Widdlecome!!!!! But I repeat myself...) But anyway, old Tone's just announced his backing for Byers, so that's OK then, apparently!!!!!!!!
So bloody wot, you might howl!!!!!!!!! But, this is actually a great time for a political experiment!!!!!!!!! When Number 10 backed Byers, they were quoted as saying that they had their "full confidence" in him!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, that's right, UK political watchers!!!!!!!! The magic phrase "full confidence" has been invoked!!!!!!! So, according to past form by the UK govt in announcing their "full confidence" for troubled ministers, we can expect Stephen Byers resignation letter within the month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or can we?!?!? As an experiment, let's observe what happens in the next few weeks, and see if this magic phrase of doom still has it's legendary power!!!!!!!!!
Linkoid!!!
U-no, I always thought those wacky US fundie types were flogging a dead horse, but I didn't think they meant it literally!!!!!!!!!!!!! (BTW Do they have a different Bible over there?!?!?! One that misses out the "Thou Shalt Not Lie" bit?!?!?!?)
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