Friday, December 21, 2001

Talk about "difficult" reviews!!!

U-no, some musinewsy peeps don't half write a wad of crapola in order to make themselves look interesting!!!!!!!!!! But even I didn't expect to see in this article, a review of Prefuse 73's elpee, which went like this:

... and that's just the first line!!! Who knew reviews in obsfucated Perl could be so hip 'n' trendy!??!?!?

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

Does this make me Grandmaster Old Fart?!?!??!

This is interesting!!!!!!!! Some bloke is giving us a a potted history of the early days of hip-hop, and then at the end of it says it's a bit like weblogging, really!!!!!!!! Quite exactly how it's similar isn't really explained tho!!!!!!! But apparently "Much like blogging, rap depended upon a long history, but somehow- in an almost undescribable way- [Well, certainly for the purposes of this article, there's no 'almost' about it!!!!!] seemed different."!!!!!!!!!! Which probably means blogging's a bit like Skiffle as well!!!!!!!!!!

Technology Tamed- debtors drained!!!!!!!!!!!!

See NTL?!?!?!? U-no, the UK cable folks wot do the cable tellybox wires up my end!!!!! They used to do quaint "local" ads on their channels for things like tha Greasy Spoon Caff on Bollokshaws Road, Kirkintilloch, where you would get some faded photoshots of some of my friends from down tha Old Folks Home eating a chip butty!!!!! With some 'Pumpin' house chunes from some "library music" CD done by a company from Swindon!!!!! And some funny woman does a voiceover through her nose!!!!!!!! And she says something muffled like: "Why not come along to the Greasy Spoon Caff, at 18573 Bollokshaws Road, Kirkintilloch??!?!?" At which point we shout: "Because you'll die of Botulism, that's why!!!!!!"

Ahem, anyway!!!!!! They stopped that!!!!! Now they do digital tellybox thingymajiggies which also allow you to surf tha megamighty NetWeb InphoPipeWay on the world's crappest w3browsa!!!! It's like an Anti-Opera!!!!!!!!! In fact, it's so far from the user experience of Opera, it might as well be called tha Robert Plant Browsey-wowsey!!!!!! Certainly it's slow enough that you can imagine the long haired ruffian from Led Zeppelin wailing "Wahahahrglhglgll... Push!!! Push!!!! Baybee, babybee, baybee!!!!! etc.", like he did in that duffoid "Song Remains The Same" cinematic "experince", in order to fill in the time before anything actually gets done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woops, where was I?!?!?!? Oh yes, NTL, the company wot gave us the catchphrase "Technology Tamed" look set to be tamed themselves- by tha Banks!!!!! Yep, they've got into the "red" in monetary terms!!!! (Wot, like they've become Communist?!?!?!??!) And now the Banks are going to take them over!!!!!!!!!! By which I presume they mean their bank people wot they do banking with!!!!!!! And no the family of Jeff Banks, the fashion designer!!!!!!!!!!! That would be really stupid!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, what would they do, apart from doing "The Clothes Show- channel!!!!"?!?!??!?!