Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Who says punk is immature!!!!!!!!!

Now, the way this Queen's Jubilee malarkey was covered in the mass media, you'd think everyone in the entire British Isles was going "Cor blimey guv, God bless our Queen!!!!!" and had a Union Jack painted on their face!!!!!!!!! Well, I can tell you that's a lot of bunkum and tummyrot!!!!!!! It was just reported like that and then shown across the UK on big telly screens in public squares to an audience of about 4 tourists!!!!!! The main action was down in London where there was a truly awful pop concert (Which might have been more bearable if Will Young sung his current gramophone recording, "Light My Fire"!!!!) a really snazzy firework display with a few neat tricks borrowed from our continental friends, and a big parade thingy, which apparently drew a crowd of 1 million!!!! Mind you, that could have been the amount of people taking part in the parade!!!!! Anyway, it was a bit noticeably quieter up my end, in much the way that a Marcel Marceau performance could be said to be noticeably quieter than an exploding Doodlebug!!!!! So, in this end of civilisation, I can imagine this next innovation in popular music culture might catch on- Punk Lullabies For Kids!!!!

Welcome to the New York Times, Mr p7d8n1BMMuIIC!!!!

When doing some Ll3l3kl35t5t3t33 (Funny way hackers, spell "elite", isn't it?!?!? Maybe they should bring out a "Spelling For Dummies" book like that jolly nice "Sex For Dummies" book not so long ago!!!!!! Mind you, not that I needed read it of course- in fact, you could say I wrote the book on the subject!!!!! Except that it's not technically true!!!! In fact, somebody else wrote the book!!!!) Erm, anyway!!!!!!! Where was I?!?!??! When you're doing some Ll3l3kl35t5t3t33 surphing on tha infos superpipeway to tha megamighty NetWeb on your w3browsey-wowsey, haven't you ever thought: "Hey!!!! it would be a really cool idea if I assumed the identity of ""!??!?!?!" I know I have!!!!! Especially if one wishes to read stuffs on tha New York Times w3sitey, where you would need to register and log in to see anything, even if New York was hit by meteorite!!!!!!!! So congratulations ("and tribulations", or however that crap Cliff Richard song goes!!!!) go to this enterprising chappie for doing an NYT Random Login Generator!!!!!!! Now all we need is a CGI proggy to rewrite the articles, so that they're actually worth logging on for!!!!!!!!!

Industry middlemen are against cutting out industry middlemen!!!!!!

Here's US Record Industry head honcho Hilary Rosen on a plan by KaZzZAzZAAa or whatever they're called, and various hip band people (No Doubt!!!!! By which I of course mean the band No Doubt!!!! Although there's probably very little doubt that other hip bands might like the idea!!!!) to cut out the industry and pay artists directly for music downloads:
the most disingenuous thing I've ever heard. It's ridiculous
So, obviously no personal interest there, eh!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 04, 2002


"The last thing you want is for your television to find out you have haemorrhoids", says this bloke!!!!!!!!