Tuesday, September 10, 2002

Oi!!!! Blunket!!!! Shut it!!!!!!!!!

Amazingly enough, those really quick people in the "upmarket presses" have finally come round the startling conclusion that the current UK Home Secretary David Blunkett is about as subtle as a rhinoceros horn up the backside!!!!!! U-no, I don't think people would be so nice to him if he wasn't blind!!!! But seeing as he's all down on all this "political correctness" malarkey, I think it would be interesting if people started making silly faces at him whilst he's speaking, or wearing "Wot a load of cobblers, Blunkett!!!" T-shirts in his presence!!!! And when he finds out wot happened afterwards, we'll see if he "whines" like an "airy-fairy" "bleeding-heart liberal" about people taking unfair advantage of his blindness!!!!!

Nukes: Yaaawwwwnnn!!!!!

A jolly unusual point of view from one fiesty young woman here !!!! Zoe Williams argues that all this arguing about having Iraq potentially having nuclear weapons isn't going to impress a lot of people because during the Cold War, the "Evil Empire" back then (ie The Russians, and not Saudi Arabia as you may think!!!) had squillions of megatonnes of nukes, on rockets that could actually have a jolly good chance of hitting us, but that was OK because we had squillions of of megatonnes of nukes, on rockets that could actually have a jolly good chance of hitting them!!!! They called this little wheeze a "nuclear deterrent", and apparently a lot of people became comfortable enough with the concept that they are a bit blase about Saddam having them!!!!! Of course this line of argument assumes that the person in charge of the nukes isn't a complete "heid-banger"!!!! But then again, Brezhnev and Reagan managed to cope pretty well with them, didn't they!!!!!!!

Funny little man wot doesn't write for tha Herald!!!!

Wow, this is a jolly big surprise!!!! Long-term readers of my luvley organ (Senior Citizen of course!!!!) might dimly remember John MacLeod, that funny little man from the Western Isle wot writes for the Glasgow Herald!!!!! Except now he doesn't!!!!

It seems that writing eulogies about the Renfrew Ferry or writing fumilnations about homosexuals despite having been previously outed in gay magazine are OK, but it's apparently a bit of a no-no to write:

Had the parents of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman kept the Lord's Day, their daughters would still be alive. 'They would have spent the day at rest or the private and public worship of God, and not been wandering the countryside, prey for whatever evil finally befell them.
Or at least it was when the Herald got loads of complaints after it was published, leading the editor to give young MacLeod the order of the Shanks Pony via telephoney!!!!! Strangely enough, most of his collegues on the Herald are going all Voltaire on this affair!!!! U-no wot I mean: "I may not agree with wot you say, but I defend my job^H^H^H^H^Hyour right to say it!!!!!!" Actually the chaps in the Herald and elsewhere have been jolly nice to young MacLeod up until this point. After all, this sprightly 46 year-old has been a "former Young Scottish Journalist of the Year and Regional Columnist of the Year", (Which to be honest, says a lot about the state of Scottish journalism, youthful or otherwise!!!!!) and the Herald even moved his column to another day "to avoid the perception among fellow hard-line Presbyterians that he was writing on a Sunday"!!!!! Arrrgghh!!!!! Infamy!!!!! Still, perhaps if he did write another completely different column on the Sabbath, he might still be in his job!!!!! And there are even noises to the effect that he's might re-appear in the increasingly dotty Scotsman!!!! Right up there next to Bill "Europe = Satan!!!" Jamieson!!!! And Linda "Porn = Child Abuse!!!!" Watson-Browne!!!! And Kate "Politcal Correctness!!!!!" Grant!!!! And Martin "The Scottish Executive are a bunch of big girl's blouses!!!" Clarke!!!! Great, huh!?!?! Well, unless you're a Scotsman reader presumably!!!! Assuming such a creature still exists theze days of course!!!!